What inspired you to write “Never Make A Sound: A Memoir ” and what message do you hope readers take away from it?
This book is basically about a child trying to escape from pain when no escape is possible, but for me writing it was more than just for my own healing or a record for posterity. I always saw it as serving a greater purpose. For the person going through a similar experience, or who has gone through a similar experience, to be able to see themselves.
For people who work with vulnerable or troubled kids – social workers, psychologists, therapists, counsellors, even teachers – to see certain behaviours in a new light. Hopefully, readers generally come away with more insight about childhood trauma and the impact it has on a person’s development. I hope it inspires curiosity over judgement. But it’s also an inspiring true story, and I want people to come away with a sense of hope.
How did you go about researching for your book?
I didn’t think of it as research, but I dove into the pages of journals and troves of personal artefacts that I’ve kept since childhood. They sparked memories and provoked strong emotions that I used as a guide for telling the story. I suppose we hold on to these artefacts as a means to bear witness. But I did also look up studies, research papers and articles about some of the themes in the book like toxic stress, complex trauma, dissociation, emotional abuse. The findings underpin the the real life drama.
How did you balance the sensitive themes of emotional neglect and resilience while writing from a child’s perspective?
I would say by highlighting the sensory experience; writing from the body, if you will. Most children are highly adaptable, and adaptability is a hallmark of resilience. An emotionally neglected child doesn’t know or understand that they’re being neglected. They just survive it simply by adapting. The story in a way chronicles the process of adapting.
Can you share your writing process? How do you approach developing your characters and plot?
One of the characteristics of memoir is that it comes with a built-in plot and characters. My approach as a writer is to first cultivate a space where I feel very connected to the story. It makes it easier for whatever material needs to come from your subconscious to surface. Because that’s where the power in the storytelling lies, and that way nothing is suppressed. And in that space, I’ll just dump everything out as it comes to me; I’ll write as if nobody is going to read it. Then I’ll go back and chisel and reshape. Editing is a big part of writing, and I approach it almost like a clay sculptor. I’ll be sharing more about my writing process in an upcoming virtual writing workshop I’m holding on Nov. 22.
What were some of the challenges you faced in portraying the complexities of family dynamics and the inner world of a child?
That actually wasn’t as challenging as you might think because I’ve always seen the dynamics very clearly, and I’ve always been self-aware. Children see things as they really are, and I just tried to approach it with that same purity.
In what ways do you hope your book will resonate with readers who may have faced similar struggles, and what message do you want to convey about seeking help?
I hope it will inspire them to want to speak up too and share their story in some way. Because if you’ve gone through something similar, I’d be curious how you would express that experience. How would you talk about it? What would you tell someone about it? I believes that expressing it transforms you in some way and it also has the power to help someone else. And on seeking help, I would say never give up on yourself. It may take years, decades even, to find a path to healing, as it did for me, but as in all things persistence pays off.
How do you see your work fitting into the current literary landscape, and what authors or books have influenced your writing?
There are lots of memoirs and self-help books out there, but this one is unique because of its style and its perspective. The style is very free-flowing, and that creates an immersive experience for the reader. There are much needed pauses and silences built into the white spaces. It has mixed media elements to lend texture to the poignancy. I personally have never seen this perspective, and from this particular cultural background, represented in the memoir landscape before.
- More info: Never Make a Sound
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(All Photo credit for the photos: Celina Lyness)
Yugbodh (YB) is a contributing writer at Onside Media, he skillfully weaves captivating stories. For him music and movies serves as an escape, and he finds them fascinating as they constantly evolve. If you have interesting tales to share, feel free to reach out via email at: info@theonside.com
